Thursday, May 13, 2010

health is more than lab results

My morning pill party is a constant reminder that youth does not guarantee anything besides a bevy of poor life choices and dramatic reactions. I'm child stuck within the logic of a crippled old woman living in a body trudging through mid-life. 29 is merely a number at this point.

I wonder how unhealthy it is to choose to spend my days fantasizing about all of the impossible possibilities life may choose to pour down on me. To foolishly daydream about all of the good fortunes that will inevitably never come but one always hopes for. Winning the lottery, the perfect well-paying job, the impeccably timed travel opportunities, the chance meeting of the ideal person in a natural setting. Things that may -but most likely won't- happen. Is it a survival tactic or are we merely setting ourselves up for a disappointment that is bigger than what we are all meant to inevitably face.

It's the end of a tiring week, but something worth thinking about.

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